Cristiano Ronaldo’s Business Card

Cristiano Ronaldo’s Business Card


Hi there sports fans,

I am Cristiano Ronaldo and this is my business card. Like me, my business card is fashionable, sleek and sexy. 

I have incorporated the iconic Portuguese red colour in to my business card; on the back you will find my lucky number “7”.  To reveal more about me my business card reveals my well-toned physique, it’s the best, I am the best.

I have always dreamt of being a word class player, now you can join me, you can be the best too. Hold the card up several centimetres away from your face and it will seem as if you are wearing my football jersey, now you can be as good as me.

Maybe they hate me because I am too good but I look at this business card and I see honour and responsibility, it brings me lots of luck.

Jack Sparrow’s Business card

Jack Sparrow’s Business card


Going the way the wind blows, seeing the world, taking on adventures as they come – it’s a pirate’s life for me.

The only rules that really matter are these: what a man can do and what a man can’t do. For instance, I can accept the fact that there are few souls unfortunate enough to know the name Captain Jack Sparrow or I can’t. But going all in for the glory is in my blood. Res ipsa loquitur, tabula in naufragio, I am left with but one option. I can’t let some really bad eggs pass by my own self without slipping them the old card of introduction.

That’s what a business card is, you know. It’s not just the paper and the ink and the design of the thing. That’s what a card needs. But what a card is… what my card really is… is notoriety. Consequence. Fame. It’s knowing that wherever in the world I am, they will know with one look that I am the greatest pirate ever to sail the seven seas. Savvy?

The Queen’s business card

The Queen’s business card


My loyal subjects, I am most grateful for the enthusiasm you have shown during the preparations for my Diamond Jubilee. Some of you may remember my Silver Jubilee thirty-five years ago, and many more of you celebrated with me ten years ago. I remember fondly the street parties, with their bright decorations and long tables to seat the entire neighbourhood, and the cheering crowds all across this great country.

In the same spirit of neighbourliness and at a time when we need something to enjoy, I therefore am very pleased to unveil my new business card. It is amongst many things in which I will be engaging over the course of the Jubilee celebrations.

And as we reflect upon the new design of my card, let us again be mindful of the purpose and usefulness of business cards.

To all of you sending your good feelings about my new card design, I thank you. I anticipate with much happiness celebrating with all of you in the coming months.

David Cameron’s business card

David Cameron’s business card


When I decided to redesign my business cards, I had one goal: to demonstrate that I understand what is being faced by Britain – and in particular the youth of Britain. Or, as I call them, my peeps.

This economic climate, handed to us from the previous government, has forced many of us to take the tough decisions to change how we face our nation’s problems. One of our biggest challenges is youth unemployment. Too many of our youngsters are out of work and disillusioned with our society. They think our economic situation is bare butters, and they are right.

I am using one of our young people’s preferred art forms – graffiti – as the inspiration for the design of my business card. This will look well book whilst also reflecting the optimism and determination of the British people in what is a very trying time for all.

Like the nation, my business card is strong and bold. Like our young people, it draws on the past but looks to the future. Like me, it is extremely clear in the message I want to be seen to be sending – which is of course how Mediacorp executives can reach me.